I'm tempted to say I'll wake up in the morning "a whole new woman", but that would be unrealistic for too many reasons not worth going into detail about.
I will, however, wake up in the morning knowing that at about 1:30 in the afternoon, I will have been alive for exactly 17 years. (Yeah, I have a really good memory)
Gone are the days when I was counting down on a calendar the months/weeks/days until my birthday. Gone are the wishlists, the incessant begging for a pony or a puppy or a castle on a hill. Gone is the excitement, the giddiness, the thrills and joys of having a whole day's worth of attention!
I mightn't be a six year old anymore, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't or can't be excited about my birthday. I badly want to be excited, I want to be up all night, waiting for the first "Happy Birthday!" text message, waiting for the dates to change at the strike of 12.
...I want all of this, so why don't I have it?
Or, more to the point, why aren't I allowing myself to be excited?
This doesn't sound like a jolly post at all, and sadly it's because I'm not jolly.
But tomorrow, I'm not going to try to enjoy myself. I will enjoy myself.
On a whim, I messaged my two closest friends telling them I wanted to have a tea party.
And that was that.
Sunday morning, Eleanor is going to have a tea party in celebration of her Seventeenth Birthday, and she is going to enjoy it.
But more importantly, Eleanor is going to get up in the morning, put a smile on her face and say "Happy Birthday, beautiful. You deserve it" to her reflection.
She's going to accept the birthday wishes from others, smile genuinely, bask in the attention, and allow "Happy Birthday To You" to be sung down the corridors if it comes to that!
Tomorrow, on the 20th of May, Eleanor is going to have a happy birthday.
love, love, love.
14 comments:
A tea party is a lovely idea! I'm so glad you want this to be a happy occasion, because you DESERVE a happy birthday, and you DESERVE to get excited about it...and enjoy it. I hope you get some pleasure from the day, and that you can rediscover some of that childhood excitement. Birthdays can be special if you want them to be, and I always think it's nicer to make them special :-)
Happy, Happy Birthday Eleanor. And enjoy your very own special day.
Sarah x
Happy Birthday Eleanor!!!!!!!!!! I think a tea party is a lovely idea for you and your friends!!!!!!! I hope that you are able to thoroughly enjoy this special day and i hope that it is filled with happiness!!!!
You deserve it!!!!!!
xoxo aimee
Eleanor!
It's still the 19th here in Canada.. but I want to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY anyway!
I'm so glad that you are determined to enjoy yourself... because birthdays are significant. You have been through so much, and you have trucked on for seventeen whole years of your life! You deserve to bask in the attention and have this day full of happiness, smiles, and laughter. You deserve to feel beautiful, special, and care-free because you are.
I love you girl!
<3 Tat
yes you are going to have a happy birthday.
i know exactly how you feel. i have been less than thrilled for my birthday the past 2 years. but this year i decided hell its my birthday and i'll do what i want.
so i did the same thing, i texted my two oldest friends and told them i wanted a picnic. and it happened and i enjoyed it.
happy birthday beautiful, it will be wonderful.
loveee
emily
Oh eleanor. I wish you a joyous and exciting birthday because girl, you deserve it. I love you so much. That tea party sounds like a lovely idea too :)
It's not your birthday for another hour, but
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
I love you, and our conversations.
(:
xx
It's not your birthday for another hour, but
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
I love you, and our conversations.
(:
xx
It's not your birthday for another hour, but
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
I love you, and our conversations.
(:
xx
Happy birthday, Eleanor :)
hope you enjoy your tea party, you deserve to have a good time.
Take care,
Cassie x
I'm not that great with figuring out the difference between time zones, and while it's still the 19th where I'm at, it might just be the 20th where you are, so... Happy Birthday, love!
A tea party sounds like a fabulous way to spend your birthday, and I hope you really enjoy it. The decision to make this birthday a happy one shows that you're going in the right direction, hun.
I think as we get older, it becomes more natural to be less excited about birthdays and holidays; children seem to be unique in that regard. But while you may not be AS excited as you were when you were 6, it doesn't mean you can't still be excited :)
Happy Birthday again, m'dear. Remember to make a birthday wish :)
happy birthday amazing woman, hope you have the most special day, because you are a very special peron!!!! sending all my birthday love light and jumping beans
xx
Happy birthday! :)
I didn't notice until just now that I had a new follower, and I just wanted to say you're a fantastic writer and even though I don't really understand ED I'm interested in learning more about it. I look forward to reading more of your posts. Have a great day today. :)
PS: I completely agree about how awkward an age 17 seems to be. Hopefully you'll find it's not so bad.
It's the 20th of May so Happy Happy HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY dearest Eleanor!! I pray that all good things will come your way, that you will have strength and happiness. You're only 17 once and boy does it fly! Make the most of it! Celebrate because you deserve to! Have a great day ahead gorgeous!!
Much love,
Nat xoxo
You are so adorable.
You will enjoy it, my dear! I can see it now. Please know that you do deserve it, the love, the attention. I hope the tea party works out well and of course, ED is not invited. Smile, laugh, love and have a wonderful birthday, Eleanor. All my best wishes. :)
<3 <3
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