I'm stuck in a bed.
I'm being fed through a tube.
I can't do anything.
I can't do anything to quicken the recovery process.
So I stay stuck in this bed, not doing anything.
I'm alone.
Terrified.
Exhausted.
Confused and conflicted.
Unsure as to what I can possibly do.
I'm weak.
Too weak to fight.
Too weak to think.
So weak that even Ed is weak.
There's nothing to fight, but I am fighting.
Fighting against what, I don't know.
Recovery? Recouperation?
Recovery? Recouperation?
But I'm not doing anything.
* * *
FRUSTRATION.
Please help.
Somebody.
5 comments:
You can fight this. Believe in the fact that there is light at the end of this dark dark tunnel. Although you may not see it now, you want to live. You want to continue living and growing and being strong. You can do this. You are strong. Inside, someewhere inside.
Elle, we have spoken already <3
but you ARE fighting.
ou ARE beating this
you are
you are
you are!
i hate tube feeding, it is horrible, it gives you a sore throat, it is just horrid, but gradually you will be able to eat, i have all the faith in the world in you.
i am alwayssss here!
you know it too.
i love you so much
XXXXXX
oh my god i know this feeling all too well.
the frustration that all you can do is sit there and play by their rules
you ask, when do you think ill be able to leave?
they reply, once you start responding to the tube re-feeding.
powerless, its in their hands, their choice, control completley taken away.
make the best of the situation,
turn the anger into good
realise you deserve a life better than this, fighting between this in a hospital bed
you can do this
i believe in you
for now, do what your body needs and rest, im sure its so exhausted and tortured from ed hell it needs this time to relax
xxxxxx
Good luck! you CAN get through this. You are so brave and so strong. I wish I knew what to say, I've not been in your position before but I wish you the best and I'm so sorry that you've had to go through this.
:'( I want to reach through this computer and give you a giant hug <3 Stay strong, I know it is hard, but there IS an end, and it is recovery. you will get there, I know you will <3
Praying for you ((--HUGS--))
Scott
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