When words escape me, nothing is more refreshing than using the words of others to depict my emotions.
A thank you to the beautiful woman who sent me through this poem. You're in my thoughts.
Summer: Mountain Top
When I swam through oil-filled waters spat upon this bitter earth
When I saw a mother's crying face at that dying birth
When I walked through icy winds, when I slept on beds of snow
When I felt the leadened hail stone, swam against the ice flow
When thoughts were crucifixes, when nightmares grew from the ground
When screams were entwined in my every word, every sound
When wounds opened and bled salted tears
When every day passed away like it was a year
When lost in leech-filled forests, when I stood alone in storms
When battered and tired from the day I was born
When the darkness enveloped me as the sun had gone away,
I carried on for the reason that I would reach here one day.
I would see spirits playing twister and by the sky streams
I would see layers of my own tears drift past like flocks of dreams
I would see glistening hope in every single teardrop of pain
And I would hear the sound of music in all this falling rain.
-Lemn Sissay
* * *
There is no good without bad, and no bad without good. To see the good, sometimes we must first be exposed to the bad. That way, we really know what there is to appreciate in life.
But no matter how bad things may seem, there is always a glimmer of hope.
This has taken me a long time to realize – it's frustrating to have to have gone through a period of bitterness first to see what there is in my life to appreciate. It's frustrating to have to have gone through a period of bitterness to learn to appreciate my actual life.
But I've been there, I've seen some bad things, and I've done some bad things. And I have come to the conclusion that, although it wasn't a waste of time, it's not worth wasting another minute for.
The battles worth fighting for are the hardest of all.
It gets harder before it gets easier, but I'll run the hard yards if it means coming out into a brighter, sweeter future and life.
It's waiting for us. We just have to get there.
8 comments:
You have no idea how happy it makes me to read your words filled with this new attitude, Eleanor. You may need to resort to someone else's poem to depict your emotions, but your attitude is plain as day. The hope and positivity that is radiating from these words is so wonderful :)
I'm thinking of you darling!
<3 Tat
"I have come to the conclusion that, although it wasn't a waste of time, it's not worth wasting another minute for. "
Beautiful - what a perfect way of putting it. I know exactly what you mean by this: those first moments when you begin to feel like yourself again are so incredible. Even though they were months ago for me, I sometimes remember them and they help me appreciate everything I have. You can't hold on to that feeling of reawakening forever, but the memories are permanent, and I think that they're so valuable.
I'm so happy to see your determination and optimism about all of this. Keep being amazing!
:-)
"But I've been there, I've seen some bad things, and I've done some bad things. And I have come to the conclusion that, although it wasn't a waste of time, it's not worth wasting another minute for."
You are the poet, girl! I love this so much. You are amazing. I want to remember what you just said here forever. <3
Lucie
Love you, Eleanor!
A beautiful poem, and you my dear are a beautiful human being.
We can spend ages looking back, regretting past behaviour, seeing what we should have done different. Or we can look back, accept our past and use it to create a better and brighter future for ourself, and the ones we love.
You have been through hard times, and you will continue to experience challenging days. But you are starting to truely believe that the fight is well worth it. You are starting to feel secure in your faith that after the fight sun will come, health will come, life will come.
It brings tears to my eyes to read your words while trying to imagine the challenges you face on a daily basis. It is emotional because I can feel it so strong. And it is emotional because I become so damn proud of you and your kick-ass attitude.
Keep on showing ED your ass, Eleanor, you will make it.
Allways with you <3
Thank you so much for your comforting comment on my blog, it truly made me smile from the inside out :)
I agree with what you said on your post, sometimes it takes bad things to show you what a beautiful gift life is. And you deserve EVERY piece of that. That's also great that you can let go of the things in your past, because they're done with. Those things don't define you. What you do from here on out is what will define you and you deserve your brighter and sweeter life that you're dreaming of :)
That poem is so ridiculously lovely. Wow. !!! keep on pushing forward girl!!!!
<3Kaity
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