I'm not really sure what I want to write at the moment - I'm a little light-headed and just... Well, out of it. It is so hot at the moment, 40 degrees or more. It's an absolute sweat fest! Not so glamorous.
I just came back from rehearsals for tomorrow night's performance. My God, that guitar teacher is a complete jerk. It was as if I wasn't even THERE. Hello, I'm singing? You can't have a band without a singer? He took control, and I was pretty much left there to sit on the steps until he called me up... Which was after about 10 minutes of him screwing around with the amplifiers and drum kit. I wanted to make him swallow the mic, honestly.
And to make my mood worse, I completely screwed up during the song! But I found out that wasn't my fault! Our guitarist played in the wrong key, and I fumbled because I was trying to sing in the right key... Oh, it was humiliating.
I just came back from rehearsals for tomorrow night's performance. My God, that guitar teacher is a complete jerk. It was as if I wasn't even THERE. Hello, I'm singing? You can't have a band without a singer? He took control, and I was pretty much left there to sit on the steps until he called me up... Which was after about 10 minutes of him screwing around with the amplifiers and drum kit. I wanted to make him swallow the mic, honestly.
And to make my mood worse, I completely screwed up during the song! But I found out that wasn't my fault! Our guitarist played in the wrong key, and I fumbled because I was trying to sing in the right key... Oh, it was humiliating.
Onto other news, though! Something positive came out of this!
(Warning: the following paragraph may upset those with weak stomachs)
This guy friend of mine, who I've had a crush on for years, was sitting next to me in the auditorium, and he had his hand down around where my drink bottle was resting... I went to grab it and took hold of his hand by accident! And he didn't pull his hand away!....Well, it was more his pinky, but still! I held his hand! And he was like "It feels like you're a baby, holding onto my pinky" and I laughed but he kept holding on.
Oh, I'm about to hyperventilate. I'm such a fool!
(He really is gorgeous, though!)
I've got a psyche appointment in 2 hours, which I am really looking forward to. I haven't seen her in almost two weeks and I think I'm at tipping point. It's going to class with my meal times which is sort of stressing me out, but I'm trying to calm myself and convince myself that it's all going to be okay, there's nothing to stress about. ED hasn't been bad today, he's been in the back of my mind, which is where it should stay. Trying to keep the positive juices flowing...
Sorry about the rambling, I'm all over the place at the moment.
(Warning: the following paragraph may upset those with weak stomachs)
This guy friend of mine, who I've had a crush on for years, was sitting next to me in the auditorium, and he had his hand down around where my drink bottle was resting... I went to grab it and took hold of his hand by accident! And he didn't pull his hand away!....Well, it was more his pinky, but still! I held his hand! And he was like "It feels like you're a baby, holding onto my pinky" and I laughed but he kept holding on.
Oh, I'm about to hyperventilate. I'm such a fool!
(He really is gorgeous, though!)
I've got a psyche appointment in 2 hours, which I am really looking forward to. I haven't seen her in almost two weeks and I think I'm at tipping point. It's going to class with my meal times which is sort of stressing me out, but I'm trying to calm myself and convince myself that it's all going to be okay, there's nothing to stress about. ED hasn't been bad today, he's been in the back of my mind, which is where it should stay. Trying to keep the positive juices flowing...
Sorry about the rambling, I'm all over the place at the moment.
6 comments:
The part about the guy literally made me "awwww" out loud ;)
Don't worry about the time of the appointment, just breathe, and I know you can get through it okay <3
<3
Amy
that's very cute, a movie perfect moment if i must say so myself :)
Sorry to hear that your teacher was such a jerk :x But maybe you would have never had your magnificent hond-holding experience if you weren't sitting out? :P
Im so proud of your amazing progress thus far.. the difference from now and even your first post shows alot of growth and it does not go unrecognized =D. Good luck with your psyche appointment =D
xo
Tat
AWWWW!! The pinky holding hand thing is SO CUTE! I have this loopy grin on my face right now because I am so happy for you! Hehe.
You've been such a fighter and you know what? Having done so well so far, do remember to praise yourself! Acknowledge all the hard work and effort you have been putting in to recovery because you deserve it!
You're such a star and may you light continue to reach out and tough the hearts of all those around you!! x)
xx
The remarkable answer :)
It agree, a remarkable phrase
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