A Little Cup Of Love.

I don't know about you, but I like my tea with just a little dash of love.
I don't think there's such thing as too much tea. I seriously had about seven cups today, all different! How's that for variety, eh?
Today wasn't all that big a day. It wasn't sweltering hot - even if it was I still would've had as much tea. I saw my Therapist this morning, and all went well. I didn't cry! And I have big news! The cute boy (the is too old for me but I still like him anyway!) that works where S (therapist) and I went for coffee came over to our table and offered us this new "Mango Chiller" thing that they just brought out. And without thinking, I took it, and I drank it. I didn't even give ED a chance to refuse it! I took it before I could let him have any say, and I downed it. And you know what? It was delicious. I didn't feel bad about it, I didn't gain seven kilos, I didn't blow up like an elephant. All it did was please my taste buds. My Therapist actually said she was wondering if I was going to drink it or not, and I pleasantly surprised her - and myself!
So that was a positive to the day.

I'm sort of going downhill with my homework again... I'm behind in Math now, unfortunately, and my English assignments are starting to accumulate again. So tomorrow, I will force myself to get to it, and actually finish it. No  blogging, no interneting, no nothing until that homework is complete. I don't want to disappoint myself, and the only one I'm letting down is me, no one else. My teacher wont care if I don't ace English; he's got plenty of other kids to worry about. I've got to do this for myself and I can't let myself down. 

I went for a walk with my Dad today to the only health-food (if you can really call it a health food) shop, to buy some more organic figs, and on the way we walked past the Primary School (elementary) I used to attend. It brought back such fond memories; memories of easier times, times where I had fun, I was carefree, playing, laughing, loving life and being engaged in everything around me. I felt quite nostalgic, and longed for that sense of freedom and carefree that I once had.  I know there's no point living in the past, but it doesn't and wont stop me from wishing times were easier again.
I'm not really sure where I want to go in life - I know I want to be healthy and happy... Maybe that's when I should really worry about my direction. I don't want to ruin my chances of living a happy healthy life. I need to live; I hate this feeling of not having a life. I feel trapped, alone, scared of everything... That's not living. 

 I want to live.